Reflections

Yesterday (I can say yesterday because it's now 1:45 am and I can't SLEEP) was a big day for a little birthday boy. And I do want to blog about that, but not right now. I have something else on my mind right now.

As I was laying in bed, NOT sleeping, it hit me that these are most likely the "last days". Meaning, I truly believe Jesus will come soon for his church. And if I believe that, then what should my priorities be? Should it be more important to me for Jackson to potty train quickly, or for him to see a loving mommy who loves him no matter what? And should it be more important for him to finally learn to stay in his bed ALL night, or for him to know that I am here for him always, so he can eventually understand that there is a loving Jesus who is also here for him always, so much more than Mommy could ever be? I don't know why he has been so needy at night. It is the way he came out, from Day One. But he is. He is getting so much better, but still he needs to know that I am there sometimes.

And what about my slower reader? Should it be more important for her to learn to read fluently as soon as possible, or for her to have a patient mommy who loves her unconditionally and encourages her to keep trying?

And my sensitive daydreamer? What are his needs? To have me demanding he get back to work with yet another sigh, or for me to lovingly guide him back to his Math?

And what about academics in general? What is my goal? Is it more important to me to have "smart" kids, or kids who love the Lord with all their hearts and are ready for whatever this world may bring? Kids who will grow into adults who will say "Yes, Lord." to whatever he asks of them?

If I know the answers to these questions, and I do, then what should my focus be? Jesus didn't say to stop living our everyday lives, but he did say to be ready and watchful. Am I ready? Is my family ready? Am I doing everything in my power to help my family be ready? If we have memories in heaven, what will my family's memories be like? Will they remember a loving mother/wife? Oh, please, God.

What about the lost souls I come into contact with in my daily life? If Jesus is coming back soon, then they need to know, don't they? Yes, they need to hear that, even if they don't want to.

These are just some things I had on my mind.